duty and desire

you wore that dress i always loved,
it fit you like a fever.
trying to avoid the waiting rocks
that line your grand volcanic curves,
above you wailed a siren song
as i pushed myself against the wall,
and no resistance dulls
the need to drink
your nautical disaster.

and everyone you spoke to grew red
from the paint you use to caress
that shape your mouth takes
as it drips out words
i'll never comprehend.
and i felt like the villain
in my own stageplay,
keeping my true thoughts hidden
in a secret spot
between my shoulder blades,

wondering if i'll ever get
the right moment
to speak the words i want to,
or if the past will
keep my jaw locked forever,
my noble and aching
intentions paralyzed
till the breath runs out,
torn between notions
of duty and desire.